Borderline Personality Disorder

A few years ago I had a horrible experience which I wont go into detail. I was very distraught and trying to look after my son at the same time. In order for me to feel better I thought it necessary to take a whole box of antidepressants. Now of course I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was seriously just trying to get rid of my pain and suffering. I ended up with serotonin poisoning and had to go to hospital. Ace was with a foster family for 2 nights. Those 2 nights without him absolutely killed me.
While I was in hospital I had a psychiatrist come and see me. I spoke to him for a long time. At the end he told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder. I had never even heard of it before. It did explain a lot. I always knew I was different. And I had suffered severe depression from as far back as I can remember.
I started researching BPD. And the more I found out about it, the more I realised the Doctor was right. I had every single symptom. Except I was never a cutter. I used to harm myself in other ways.
About a year ago I decided to see another psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with the same thing. So I definitely know I have it. Although some people think it's a made up illness and people use it an excuse to explain bad behaviour. Who knows?
Aparently it's caused my a traumatic childhood. It can also be passed down. I have a crazy Mother and have had a traumatic childhood so who knows how I got BPD.
I'm not sure if finding out I'm mentally ill is a good thing or a bad thing. It's good to put a name to it but now I have to live with the fact that I will always be "crazy".
I can't hold a relationship, I can't control my emotions, I can't deal with people, I can't be a normal mother, I just can't do anything like a normal person can. Oh but I try. I try more than anything to just be normal. But I can't stop what's going on in my head. I hate it so much.
Nobodies ever going to love me.....