"Coming out"

When I was 17 I started fantasising about women. I found myself staring at girls in the street. I didn't tell anybody about my thoughts and feelings towards other women because at the time I had a boyfriend. I found that I wasn't attracted to him anymore and started chatting to girls on the internet all day long. One girl in particular I had a huge crush on. We would secretly send each other love letters in the mail. One day my boyfriend found one of them and read it. He confronted me about it and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed in his face and said 'No way!'. He didn't believe me. I honestly hadn't even thought of it like that. Soon after it all started to make sense. Maybe I was a lesbian! Me and my boyfriend broke up over it, and soon after I had found myself a girlfriend. It was then that I came out to my Mum. She did not accept it one bit. She called me every name under the sun and said if I kept seeing this girl she didn't want anything to do with me. So I did keep seeing this girl and me and my Mum didn't speak for about 8 months.
The girl who I was seeing cheated on me with a guy right before I turned 18. I broke it off with her and I was very distraught. She was meant to be gay! I no longer had anyone close to me so I told my Mum I wasn't with her anymore and told her it was a faze. Mum accepted me back into the family and on my 18th birthday she took me to the pub. The whole time she was trying to set me up with guys. I wanted her approval so badly that I tried to force myself to be straight. I met a guy that night and got his number. Big big mistake.....