Wednesday, November 25, 2009

"Coming out" (again)

When my Son was 2 years old I befriended another mother who had 2 kids. We were instant best friends and we hung out every day with the kids. Sometimes we would get her partner to watch the kids and we would have a drink together.
One night we started making out. All these feelings came rushing back to me! All the ones I had locked away so tightly trying my hardest to not let them out again. We couldn't keep our hands off each other and we slept together that night. It felt so right! I was home again!
I kept it a secret and our friendship became awkward and we stopped speaking to each other. But I suddenly realised that I couldn't keep lying to myself and others. I definitely wasn't straight no matter how hard I tried to be. I desperately longed for that sensual feeling of a woman's body.
I still hadn't told anybody this until one day when my friend was making me a 'myspace' portfolio. She was asking all these questions like, what's your interests and your favourite movies? "Sexual Orientation?" she looked at me with a smirk. I told her to put Bisexual. I was still a bit confused and still hadn't told anybody so I thought that would be best.
Not long after I had girls chatting me up online. Soon after I was in a heavy duty relationship. I was with this girl for 2 years. It was very up and down but I was happy to finally be "out".
I told my Mum that I didn't care what she thought anymore and that I was going to be gay whether she liked it or not. Eventually she came around. I found out why she was so against the idea in the first place. Turns out my Mother is a lesbian too! She didn't want me to come out because she couldn't do it herself. Since then my Mother has come out and she dated a woman for 3 years.

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